Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Awaiting Myself, If Not There.

Because I know how it always happens. Because this is how it always has been. Because this is how it will continue to be. Because come the management or come small minds with little consideration, history repeats. Because budget always falls into place, because we are sensible, because we have been through a lot, because most of us love to give it back, because we are who we are, because we are still better off than politicians, because we are honest, because it did happen, because we hardly give a fuck about you. Because traditions shall...

I always felt it was pretty evident what the whole point of this exercise was. The event was supposed to mislead them, make believe it was meant for better things. Whoever fell for it paid the price. Whoever did not came out unscathed, at the price of what? At the price of nothing? I personally intended it different and so did everyone. But then came a strike. Whose side to take? Our batch or theirs'?

So after slowly grooming our minds and punching our own faces, we came out okay. I hate the whole incessant barrage of unnecessary emotions post that. It happened. Big fucking deal. Live with it. Stop crying your hearts out as if the world just succumbed to your plight. Nobody cares, nobody died, and hardly could anyone stop to bother. Live with it...!

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Because when this happened, nobody heard me out. I know how someone in the other batch felt when I told them that one of the prescribed plays (which would have worked) was not to be displayed. I hated breaking the news, ruining their day more than mine. But I knew I had done worse before.

At the end of day, I hardly give more than I want. I have much on my mind and thus, little to action, much less to imagination. I am not harmed and all of a sudden, even slight depression gets ridiculed in my own assertlly, overyly patronizing sentences. Mind your own self.



In other news, I am bothered why Bharti's scrip continues its upward side. While down on the upside, they deserve to be ripped for fault in services, I honestly thank Airtel for what were brilliant 3 days away from urban (disturbing) civilization as I have come to realize. Fuck you anyway.

I am in a not too forgiving mood. And I shall now listen to dance music. Or Foo Fighters. Whatever breaks the dust. My gift of selfish rain. Goodnight, known you.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

We Chase Misprinted Lines..

I have been reading on the internet a lot and cannot fathom the amount of seriousness with which some people are actually doling out information on the internet and entire episodes of daily activities. How would they be comfortable to live with it when a google search links them back. I am such a fuckin' hypocrite. I shall refrain from disdain, wait, that rhymes. *Makes mental note*.

How does one let go of another person without trouble? Should I simply shun the thought of it (which is not happening as every time the name resonates on air or television, it strikes)? Or should I simply increase communication levels with new people (that does not work much at times because if they know, they somehow bring back the flood and if they don't, I begin to hate the oblivion that not exists for the initial entity I was trying to run away from? I could absolve myself in total activity or recreation that would make me stay away but I would need a lot of that to fill my day. In a nutshell, its hard and I could do anything to get away, and help my mind slip away but to no avail. So now I move forward, one step at a time. As goes "my gift of selfish rain.." I have decided to refrain from doing anything similar to the things I did then but music is one thing hard to forego and it is more or less, a cumulative of all activities. I am done with.