Happiness is a fish I can't catch or even when caught, I hardly wish to pick it up and show everyone around. If this year had 14 months, I would happily agree but yet I resent with the knowledge that they might spoil all of what has been.
I had plans, short term - long term. Not anymore. It is now time to draw a wishlist. And maybe build my first new year resolution since 2000 or around. But this time, I shall follow. I need to quit.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Another Stark Reminder.
I am going to write just for the sake of filling up space here. There is no point to it. But thats just one way of looking at it.
You look around. A casual glance. There is something behind. Maybe something you left, now languishing all by its own. A casual glance. It permeates through the very well being of the day. You want to just pick up what was written and just paste it all over. You hate that extra effort, especially when it would not improve your life in any manner whatsoever. You hate every second spent doing nothing at all. You write more drafts than sent mails. You misconstrue everything in and around just because whichever way you might wish to perceive, it will not actually make much of a difference to the real world. I spend money. Everyday. On consumer goods, on all types of products. But other than a significant 5 line read in the newspaper, I forever wonder why inflation does not affect me personally. Another casual glance. This week is hit 3%. Blame the base year taken last year or either way, it still does not harm me. On one hand, they say its really sad its still decreasing, its not good for the economy. The government should increase fuel prices and when the policy people say they shall do it next week, its uproar. I wish I knew my economics. I know everything, I just do not know anything inside out. Specialize. A last casual glance. Done talking. The movement behind stops. It is all good now.
With the habit, I am home again. It does not feel much like home though. Delhi has changed. Pollution is back. They call it smog in this part of the world though. Too much construction. Gay looking malls in the vicinity of where I stay. Shabby, hopeless architecture which makes you not want to look that side. People all excited about a couple of movies and too much gaga over Diwali.
"My Karma Ran Over Your Dogma".
But its when I slip inside a blanket at night, curtains closed, and just a sense of chill in the outside world, a complete ignorance of sorts, playing music that still remains back home, with just a glance over to access the day that has been to help relinquish any undesired feelings, and just a knowledge that all is well, however ambition less my life is, and then eventually without any further inclination, I admit to myself that I feel S-M-U-G.
You look around. A casual glance. There is something behind. Maybe something you left, now languishing all by its own. A casual glance. It permeates through the very well being of the day. You want to just pick up what was written and just paste it all over. You hate that extra effort, especially when it would not improve your life in any manner whatsoever. You hate every second spent doing nothing at all. You write more drafts than sent mails. You misconstrue everything in and around just because whichever way you might wish to perceive, it will not actually make much of a difference to the real world. I spend money. Everyday. On consumer goods, on all types of products. But other than a significant 5 line read in the newspaper, I forever wonder why inflation does not affect me personally. Another casual glance. This week is hit 3%. Blame the base year taken last year or either way, it still does not harm me. On one hand, they say its really sad its still decreasing, its not good for the economy. The government should increase fuel prices and when the policy people say they shall do it next week, its uproar. I wish I knew my economics. I know everything, I just do not know anything inside out. Specialize. A last casual glance. Done talking. The movement behind stops. It is all good now.
With the habit, I am home again. It does not feel much like home though. Delhi has changed. Pollution is back. They call it smog in this part of the world though. Too much construction. Gay looking malls in the vicinity of where I stay. Shabby, hopeless architecture which makes you not want to look that side. People all excited about a couple of movies and too much gaga over Diwali.
"My Karma Ran Over Your Dogma".
But its when I slip inside a blanket at night, curtains closed, and just a sense of chill in the outside world, a complete ignorance of sorts, playing music that still remains back home, with just a glance over to access the day that has been to help relinquish any undesired feelings, and just a knowledge that all is well, however ambition less my life is, and then eventually without any further inclination, I admit to myself that I feel S-M-U-G.
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