razzies.ppt

My faltering sense of humor is taking its toll on me. The lack of ability to make myself laugh makes me laugh more than anything anymore. Id just write about a hectic few weeks than a monthly adventure of what has actually been.

The Razzies 2008, NMIMS.

The most controversial night for my batch. Everything side, it was staged to be the perfect evening. Id accept here than I was involved from the very beginning. Ill start from the very first time I heard of it.. (oft mentions un-included)
Stark and falling off on alcohol at the Annual Alumni Meet in Juhu, I am forced to meet some 'popular' seniors. I behave typical rude, much to my own amusement and their shock. They hold me by arms and tell me about the whole ceremony that eventuates Euphoria. 4 years of splendid recordings stare me in the face all throughout. Who should host it? Who all should be involved? Etc are just some of the questions that shall not let me appease the whole aura of them. Started off in '04 by a couple of enigmatic seniors, they took the whole event to the very extremes. What seems now like constipated fun was surely the rudest shock for many of their own batch. Two fellows with a very much in common surname staged the first ever, filled with lesbian drama to announcing the nominations on everyone's desks. Id glee in delight on first mention, but it seemed like a herculean task to own. It is followed by 2 more years of the same before my senior batch did it to themselves. An awkward yet sweet evening, with the "(no) offense meant at all" tagline attached (or not).

I was first given the responsibility with due diligence a month ago. When first told, I could hardly encapsulate excitement, let alone walk around with a tad unbecoming smile. Amused at the whole charm of them, I started pondering over the creative stuff. In came two more fellows and out went two others from other divisions who I wished had been involved (only back then, they did not know what they had been asked to leave dinner for and come, and thus, they skipped). The first major meeting happened in the Quad., total silence as the last year's show played on a borrowed laptop. After viewing, we called on a classmate to be this year's host. More for his command of vernacular tones than his subtle yet sexually laden sarcasm. A team in place (a fifth member from my batch was there yet not in focus - one of those people who would never end up contributing much but was there was the sake of being there).

Two weeks prior to the night, we settle on some categories. What starts off with some bangs turns into a whimper but we are down to quite a few minutes already that shall let us survive a happy journey. Bunking classes and meeting in hushed voices over 'cutting chai' keeps us from selling the drama. We slowly start selling the rumors though, to great affect. My Marketing mind hits Sahil's as the first in a series of A4 sheets hit campus.

M1 - We take a series of randomly rhyming clues as we post 3 of them with the final clue pointing towards the show night.
M2 - "Every Award Is Special" - A new campaign is released, albeit enthusiasm. But it works wonders as people actually begin to think of the same. Ishan Awasthi becomes a brand ambassador, free of cost.
M3 - Involves the A4 Smiley on word with the simple "One Expression You Will Not Remain - The Razzies 2008".
M4 - All The Emotions campaign.
M5 - The brilliant CV by Sid. "Bending over" attracts finite attention.

And a few more..!

These sheets have a the buzz going as we regularly meet, but differences crop up every now and then. I become the 'bakra' per se, to ensure that Razzie Night plays to a level headed evening. My nominations are quite a few eventually (to be cut down later though) and I do it myself. It is the paucity of time coupled with other responsibilities that holds us from meeting in a proper way. While all of this is on, RC is quite one up on the script, which has mellowed sarcasm and some witty humour, that promises to leave no stone unturned. Sahil is busy adding and subtracting picture a week prior as the presentation is yet to take off. Tension starts building as we realize there is not much time left. We scrape up the final few nominations for various categories. Lecher, 69 (which was initially supposed to be a take off from a senior couple caught out but got reduced to ashes), Draupadi (which eventually ended as 'sati savitri'), Khudkhushi etc are on the table. At an international conference a week prior, it reaches crescendo when we come up with stuff like "placecomm ka alumni" etc which are finally vetoed by the same senior who initially proposed the same. let us not glorify, tada..! The two associated seniors drop in every once a day and ask random questions and they believe that our show "is not class enough" while at the same time, being reluctant to really stand up for what it is. A moment's contradiction surfaces into lifetime hypocrisy as they can do no better than argue over everything.

A twist comes in the unusual reasoning behind not involving another set of courses in the award. Though it has not been the norm, it should have come to change. But personal vendetta and egos clash as some deserving people are left out. My team and I can do little but stay worried about the outcome, for no fault of ours, for no fight that we has ensured ensued.

The drama begins to unfold on the penultimate day. We have nothing in store. As Zero and Indian Ocean close their sets, we rush to realize we have not much in hand. The next day's early morning is full of anticipation while we have not done as well as we thought. The categories have to be trimmed, nominations finalized, this sounds bigger than anything, Indeed.

Five hours to go and we have little or no picture left. Me, Sahil, and RC gather in one room after the other, as we are shunned out on anyone taking seat's possession. Short of pictures, we move through people's facebook and orkut profiles, which is to eventually become a bone of contention. But the stone retains moss as we are not quite there. Sahil determined to make a good show out of it, we are eventually met by the two seniors. They make us cut, saw, chop, and edit a lot. From saving face to keeping grace, one of the best ideas is shredded down, while somethings not in public interest are added. Not to popular choice but anyhow. "I have to save his girlfriend" becomes the new tagline. Tempers fly high an hour prior as I refuse to stand down on some of my nominations including getting this year's elects off the list. Some of this is what some would never know. People would never know the extent of humiliation they were never made to see. All in good fun, but there was some bad blood for the taking and we never got enough. At the same time, our apprehensions about not backing down come true. Still undecided, I leave with 25 minutes to go, searching for various accessories to give away as the award. We settle on "bananas" and a "maala". RG to do the honours.

In all hurriedness, we go change into the night show time dress. Once back, there is a smoke break wherein we catch up breath and defuse pre show nervousness. A bite half my hand off chewing my nails, as I look at faces who have little idea that they might end up there.

Last moment stupidity - with the songs and slides in place, last moment tinkering to get some people on board and remove friends becomes talk and a helpless us can do not much but to stifle, especially on the 'pastry'. We take our the deserving and put in the undeserving, the cream has left. I seem next to crestfallen but manage to get the pack going. The music in place as Sahil takes his seat next to the presentation. AM checks the lights for the night as last year's host climbs the stairs to the wonderful stage with a simple background, RC seems excited but should make the night tonight and Sid is willing. RS has the garlands ready and all the help is there..

The seconds pull close as the ex host calls upon this years show to begin. Faltering lights do not add to the damage and Razzies 2008 are go..!

Sid and RC make their way. I with a microphone stand next to the console and Sahil checks himself again. This is what it all comes down to. There is a reasonable crowd, nothing less than 300 people and the Quad. has had it long since it was so full. But this is more than just the people who are there to witness. Alongwith these awards, there is the whole college drama being sold, personal vendetta being eroded, and intensity at an all new level.

Admist random shouting at people, I notice Sahil brilliantly working his well made powerpoint with the music. And RC at his witty best with an amazingly well done up introductory speech. They rip..!

One Razzie after the other, it happens. This is something I'll skip. 17 in total, if I recall correct and a commercial break to along with it. Bananas are eaten, strewn, thrown back into the host's face and even shared by two guys on stage. The sport, we are all, innit? People seem awfully pissed and the undoing shall be tough, I can feel it. Sahil gets on stage for a bit of fun and they all look cheerful as apprehensiveness about next day's farewell and everything else is still making my head go weird. This is it..

It all rolls perfectly, including the end with nostalgia. And videos they make to tell other how good their two years have been. The camera and lights switch off and the ignored or neglected step up and an unnecessary ruckus emerges backstage. I see a couple of people shouting at me and one who almost hit me. All of this is being taken too far but parity is soon resolved. We head off from their to the safety of Asiad and liquidate our nights away.

A lot has happened since. I have twice been surrounded by groups and asked to explain, I have had a 26 year old fellow sitting in my room and crying his heart out, I have been called an "eternal asshole" by a girl, who in all her high handedness did so with neither rhyme nor reason. I have apologised. Sahil, Sid, and RC have borne quite the brunt of it too. I can be blamed, they scrutinized, we murdered, but I wont ever forget the 'best presentation we ever gave'.

No more apologies. You reap your rewards. A big fuck to those who took offence when not required, an apology to those when we took somethings personal too far, loads of blame on those who made us edit the good, and a smile and another 60 ml to the four of us :-)