Plastic Papercups & Optimum Utilisation Of Resources.

Brahmaputra (2005) - to start wit. While crossing the river from Arunachal to Assam (check 4th or 5th post from bottom for another from the same state). This was a spectacular journey, of recall. The boat took its time as it rode from hills (semi-Chinese ones, before I create political controversy) to tea plantations on the other side. Nothing as such is brilliant, else the tree leaves that come on their own in the picture, occupying a staged role as if they are accustomed to their picture being taken. This is fun and integral to my daily escapades nowadays. Pick up some old pictures from the past 5 years of kvlt travel and then try and think of the emotion that did flood my mind back then. All the ones in this blog may have nothing to do with what I felt that, just a Stark reminder of a good life that I had managed to have.
Reality, this time, is surprising. Its an oft repeating thing that is so cliched that it hardly makes sense. For a person who took years to realize how horrid he was at analogy, I should shut up. But yet, this willingness to write in the most utter of statements, that I shall laugh at, were I read this link 'gain in 2009 or around. 2 years is not far off. I still am my cynical self, a firm believer in the fact that economy is headed in a downward spiral pretty soon, and jobs being
1. Scarce
2. Transferable
3. *one more point he said*,
shall become an 'economic good'. One shall struggle to make ends meet. I am so confident and will be okay if such is to become.

This week has transpired into substance worth zilch. Those harboured dreams of becoming a poet and maybe, sitting across the bay or in the mountains, writing line after line, have crashed. Hobby, it remains, but the whole facade of imagination I wished is slowly being curtailed, sans the happiness. The curtains leaf over every hope, bringing down all those predicaments I complicated myself within.

And despite my escapades this year, I feel further deprived when I talk to whatever collection of whatever I still have left. Someone is in Tokyo, else biking down (or up?) to Ladakh, another just flew into Mumbai day before on his way to Cochin, another is now in Sydney doing her own forms of randomness, and many more have plans in store. And worst is the fact that they heap it all on me. Comes back full circle for all the misery I piled on them over the past few months/years. Stifled in anticipation as to meet some people soon, I carry one nonetheless.

College, Friday. Odd start. When 4 different professors give different interpretations to the word - "CONSUMER", one is supposed to be baffled, a precarious situation more uncertain than trying to determine the meaning of life. Or maybe we have been given the freedom to create the reality we experience because we are supposed to learn from it. Or maybe not. I'm more baffle than I was yesterday, actually this becomes every time my mind becomes over exercised. Situation demands such.
I keep asking myself 'why'?. But then again, some music is better than other music, some songs more appropriate and meaningful than another. I must be the most obsessed "fake plastic trees fan" in the whole white world (nobody cares about the blacks - they are below the poverty line). Its a complete song, not in the 'bohemian rhapsody' musical arrangement manner, but in its own emotionally challenging manner. The song can make one drop to the knees and cry. Thom Yorke himself broke down, sincerity.
"She lives with a broken man, a cracked polystyrene man
who just crumbles and burns.
He used to do surgery, for girls in the eighties, but gravity always wins."
and,
"And It Wears Me Out, it wears me out, It wears me out, it wears me out. If I could be, who you wanted....All the time.."

The answer to unhappiness is both liberating and infuriating, but here it is. Happiness doesn't depend on anything that has or has not happened in the past, nor does it depend on your future prospects (thank God, eh?). The simple fact is, in order to be happy, one must DECIDE to be happy. I conclude that I must suck at decision making, thus.